Stop Being a Cheap Skate

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The other day, I decided it was time to change the disgusting mop head I was using to mop the gym floors with a fresh, new, clean mop head. I just couldn’t stand working out in mine and everyone else’s filth anymore. Usually I would go to the local home improvement store and get a nice quality, likely overpriced mop head, but this time, I figured I’d save a few bucks and go to Wally World. I knew going here meant forgoing any sort of quality and selling part of your soul to save a buck, but hey, that’s 50 cents I can use to literally do nothing because you actually can’t buy anything with that amount of money anymore but… WOO SAVINGS!

So, I bought the economical mop head, condemned the stinky one I had been using to hell, and strapped the new one onto the mop stick. Finally, I can ACTUALLY mop up the layers of sweat that cake onto every gym floor (remember that the next time you are rolling around doing whatever variation of crunch you do literally every day).

As you could probably guess, I was disappointed with the results. But LITERALLY YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. First off, it would not absorb the water and cleaning solution. It was like… AFRAID to get wet. I was dunking it and it was floating at the top of the bucket as if fighting me for air. I kept having to force it down in there (perverted thoughts). Finally, it accepted its fate, and it was finally wet.

I carry it out onto the gym floor and begin swirling the floor as the artist that I am and…. Lint. Lint everywhere. I think it left more lint on the floor than picked up dirt and sweat. It was utterly atrocious. But I don’t give up that easily. I kept on swirling the exact same spot, thinking that after it lost all that extra lint, I could somehow recollect it from the floor and deposit it into the mop bucket.

No such luck. As I continued to swirl the mop, it became less and less effective at doing anything. Next thing I know, the mop DISINTEGRATED WHILE IN USE. Mop noodles went flying. It looked as if some angry Italian became irate and began throwing his pocket spaghetti at me in outrage of our modest gym prices. All Italians carry around pocket spaghetti, right? Like… are you even Italian if you don’t carry around pocket spaghetti? Anyway, it was a disaster. Never trust a cheap mop head.

So, what was the whole point of this story? It’s simple. I am asking you to stop being a cheap skate. Now, I understand times are hard and you are trying to save some money, but honestly, instead of bargain hunting, why don’t you start eliminating? Stop buying stuff that isn’t actually making your life better so you can invest on some quality things that DO make your life better? For example: Start brewing your coffee at home. $5 every day for a mocha-frappe-latte-chino is a waste. And by the way, pumpkin spice lattes aren’t even good. There, I said it. Just drink your coffee black like a real man.

The reason I am writing this post is: I KNOW that if some people would give me the time, I could bring their fitness to a level they did not even realize they were capable of. My services aren’t just meeting with you once or twice a week and putting you through a workout. No. I record everything. I make sure that in every workout, you make progress. I make sure you aren’t wasting time and energy doing exercises that aren’t getting you the gains you are after. I talk to my clients every day. I help them through whatever it is they are going through. Fitness takes a back seat to other parts of our lives, so I know that personal training is not just the workouts. It’s life. I can’t be effective if I don’t actually get personal. I’m there for my clients 24/7. I’m making sure every day, they are making the right choices. And that doesn’t always mean slapping that ice cream cone out of your hand. You want ice cream? HAVE SOME ICE CREAM! We’ll make up for it later. Live your life, fam. I want you to live a long healthy AND happy life.

The point is, my services are the real deal, but the first question I always get are my rates. And for the record, my rates are really low, but it’s almost like people are surprised I’m not paying them to get healthy. Guys, I gotta eat, too. No matter what price I give them, that’s all they focus on. They know I am the highest quality mop head they can buy, but what they try to focus on is the price point. And you know what happens when they do that? Mop noodles. They might lose weight the first month, but then they fall off the wagon and gain it all back. They actually fall farther away from their goals than when they started.

You wouldn’t take your Lamborghini to the cheap mechanic in town, would you? Heck no! You’d take it to the Lambo mechanic that is going to keep your baby running for years to come! You don’t care how much he charges! Your car is worth it!

What if I told you that your body was worth 1,000 times that Lambo AT LEAST? Don’t believe me? Okay, say someone offered you $1,000,000,000 to cut off your arms and legs. Would you take that deal? What if they offered you $2,000,000,000 for your eye sight? Sound worth it?

Your body is worth so much, yet you are bargain shopping to keep it healthy. You feed it crap, not considering what you are doing to it. You don’t stretch, or strengthen it, then try to lift this or reach that and suddenly you’ve injured yourself and you blame it on nothing but aging. Yes, things get less efficient with age, but that’s like throwing dirt in your engine, the car breaking down and blaming it on the mechanic.

You aren’t a mechanic for the body, but you can hire one. And no, most of the time, a good one is not going to be cheap. But you are getting work done on a multi-billion-dollar machine. Wouldn’t it be worth spending the money so that you can enjoy life a little more? And you can afford it by eliminating things you don’t need. If you wrote down everything you spent money on, I guarantee you can find several things you don’t need. Eliminate and boom. Pay day.

You spend money on things that don’t make your life better. Why not spend money on things that WILL make your life better?

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