You Are Not Alone pt. 1

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What is up everyone!

The podcast for the last 2 weeks is all about overcoming hardships and how to carry on with a positive outlook afterwards. I was fortunate enough to have a good friend and fellow blogger, Elizabeth, with me during my podcast this week. She added a lot to the conversation.

So, how do you pick up after your heart has been shattered in a life changing tragedy? Everyone has faced some type of hardship, and in some cases, way more than their fair share. My guest is no exception.

Elizabeth is a longtime friend of mine that has been around since I was running around in my underwear. She has been married to her husband for nearly 11 years and she has 2 living children. Noah is 9 and Avery is 4. She had a stillbirth named Zoe and last October gave birth to Heath, who lived for 2 weeks before passing away. Elizabeth has faced a tragedy that no one should ever have to face, and has buried 2 of her children. Statistics show that 1 in 4 children do not make it, so Elizabeth has faced an above average hardship and I truly feel for her.

However, despite these hardships, she is remaining positive. She is writing an inspirational blog now, and you can find that here. This blog is about how Elizabeth is coping with her hardships and how she can continue to face life with a positive outlook.

Everyone is fighting battles that we don’t know about. Almost a year ago, I lost one of my best friends to suicide. This friend was not a depressed person on the surface. He was awesome to be around. He was always uplifting others and making everyone around him smile. No one saw it coming, until one night I got a phone call that my best friend had left us all behind. I still don’t know why he did it, but I know now that everyone has much more going on behind the scenes than any of us know about, and I want to show those people that they are not alone.

We are not alone because everyone is fighting battles. Someone has gone through what you are going through, no matter how isolated you might feel. Someone is battling the same demons you are battling right now. Know that you can trust other people. There are other people out there that WANT to help you. You are not weird because you are feeling down about so many things and can’t seem to be happy. You are not annoying because you feel alone in a crowded room. You are not alone.

No one is going to deal with it the same way, and no one is going to know exactly how you feel, but you should never feel as though you can’t talk to people. Maybe someone can offer you advice on how they dealt with it. Maybe there is someone that can just lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on. Other people want to help you, so don’t keep all this yucky, angry, negative emotion all bottled up until you explode.

Time does NOT heal everything. Once you have been through a dramatic experience, you can be scarred for life. It will always hurt. However, we as people get stronger. The holes in our heart never go away, they never get smaller, and they can never be filled. But we can learn to live with them. We can learn to keep our heart beating even when it seems to be in shambles.

Often, we focus on all the bad that is happening in our lives. It comes so natural to think that when things are going bad, that they are only going to get worse and will never get better. I have even compared my own life to a few good moments in a sea of crap. Many times, this is not true. We fail to count the blessings that are going on in our lives. You must realize that these troubles in our lives are necessary to make us better people. You must appreciate the bad days, because without the bad days, we wouldn’t appreciate the good ones. Realize that the struggles we are dealing with, unless they legitimately kill us, will make us stronger after it’s over and done with. It does not seem like it while it’s happening to us, and we will always wish things had happened differently, but things will get better.

The way I see it, when you are dealing with major loses and struggling with hardships, you have two options. You can either let the pain define you and give up. Or you can pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are going to keep moving forward. You are going to become stronger. You are going to make it. The overwhelming pain is temporary, and things will get better. You will adapt to this, and you will be able to move forward as a stronger person. The first step is standing up and putting one foot in front of the other.

Just remember: You are not alone.

Now get out there and get after it! Don’t forget to share my blog and podcast wherever it is you share things! You can check out my podcast in the link below, as well as Elizabeth’s blog: Life Inside Looking Out.

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